Addict!

I want to start this blog off by thanking,my God,for allowing me to have this opportunity to share with you the life of a Addict.growing up I did not have a normal childhood.Like so many others I was a little league ball player,and a bronco player for the local county teams.My dad never came to see me play,but once,if I remember correctly.I had to walk five miles to practice,but I loved the game,so it was worth it,every step to the ball park.My daddy was a alcoholic,and my mother worked,because daddy was to drunk to work.I had four brothers,and a sister.my life was full of shame growing up.It seemed as if things were looking up for the family something always happen,that daddy was drunk again,lord he quit every other day.When my mother would get paid from the mill,daddy would take her money and gamble,and drink.That is when the fighting would start.i jumped in between my mother and daddy once an my daddy hit me in the stomach,needless to say I was down for the count,however mother got a few good punches in.One time daddy was to drunk and mother really gave him a good beating,she even bent the license tag on his car,of course she walked eight miles to work,each way when she was pregnant with me.daddy taking her money for her children's food would soon separate them to,and us.They both remarried,and we did not see daddy much then.In 1992 daddy died from lung cancer,but several years before that his marriage went sour an he tried to make up for all the wrong,and to this day I am proud to say he was my daddy,and that I miss him terribly.When I was around twelve years old I started smoking pot,and some light drinking.At thirteen I was doing any drug i could get my hands on,and I was getting the drugs any way that I could.When I was fifteen years old I was main lining beginning to work until November of 1978 that is when our criminal life came to a stop.The sheriffs office finally got us.I was given 10 years in prison at the age of 17,I knew a lot of convicts so going to press cocaine,smoking PCP,snorting THC and taking any kind of Pill that you can name I was taking it.If the pills did not have a street name my friends and I we gave them a name.In the early 70s I started doing that new drug called MDA,today it is known as ecastay.There was several guys from the mill hill that I hung out with so when we did not have the money,we would break in houses,the first thing we went for was the pill cabinet,if there was no pills then we would take anything to get the money for the drugs.We had a great fence to buy the stolen items,he had a lot of connections,to move them out of town,or state.Our plan to stay high forever was on was easy for me,it was kind of cool.I thought at that time.I was a convicted as a youthful offender,and in the state of North Carolina,You had 1 day to 10 years which meant that I could be paroled after 1 day,but that did not happen.In 1979 I was paroled after 18 months of good behavior.I had been on work release so I had saved a few hundred dollars,so the day I was released I got together with a few friends and a few girls and we got drunk,and did a lot of drugs that night.Well my life was right back where it was before.Soon the stealing started,the drinking ,drugging was out of control.In 1980 I was arrested for breaking and entering again.The judge this time gave me not less than 10 years and no more than 15 years.I thought the parole board did not know I was alive ,because it was a long hard time before I was to see the streets again.Well a addict will come up with someway to get high,even if they are in prison.One day why still in prison,myself and 4 others decided to escape but that was a stupid thing to try,Two guys were shot and one guy was cut really bad,from our escape attempt,ironically today I only live 9 miles from that prison however I am 48 years old and I am on Intensive probation for selling a control substance (Pain pills).go figure.All of the above leads me to the good news and ending to my story of being a addict.addictions started.See we must first come to understand why we are addicted,then and only then we can began to join the fight for our lives.The bibBy addiction started as a kid,it was fueled by an alcoholic up bring a place that was suppose to be home but instead was hell in so many ways.The domestic violence the drinking the gambling,everything in my home was fueled by some type of addiction.We as addicts can never get better if we as addicts do not know where our le said that our fathers sin we showed up in our children children's,therefore there is something such as a addiction becoming a disease,a sickness if you would prefer to call it that.just as my daddy fought his demons I to fight demons his was alcohol my are drugs.Today I am sober and have been sober Since 1-17-07 but it is a everyday fight,but at least I am free,from jail,and I am free from the drugs.My mother passed away May of 2006 my Grand-mother passed away FEBURARY 2008 and on APRIL 13th 2008 my second wife was killed in a car crash.It was drug related.The point I am making is that i lost three people in my life that could have sent me back over the edge,but do not kid yourself addicts do not need a push they are always on the edge,but for once it feel good to be on the edge and sober.In 1994 my first wife divorced me and we have to children together,and for 14 years I did not get to have any contact with them because of my life style.Now in my life my kids come and go as they wish they are grown,but it is a pleasure every time I see them,all though I have not earned even a visit from them. I let my addiction robbed so many people even me,I hope that if you are struggling with a addiction that you will consider talking to some one about help.Please do not rob yourself as I have.God bless.GARY